


A Soulmark Story

by xXxAngelStormxXx



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, F/M, Romantic Soulmates, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-12
Updated: 2015-07-12
Packaged: 2018-04-09 01:32:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 14,958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4328628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xXxAngelStormxXx/pseuds/xXxAngelStormxXx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Margaret 'Peggy' Carter grows up not really understanding what her soulmark is, and feels like she's never allowed to do what she wants.<br/>(Originally posted to Fanfiction.net)<br/>***I've made some minor changes/updates/revisions to the current chapters.***</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A 6 Year Old Peggy

"Mommy?" I tug at my mother's skirt with a slight frown, I'd been mulling this particular question over in my head for a while.

"Yes Margaret?" She looked down at me with a smile.

"What do you think my soulmark is?"

"I honestly don't know sweetheart, you're only six. You have plenty of time to figure it out dear." She crouches in front of me, as she tells me this.

"But mommy, I really want to know. How am I supposed to know who my soulmate is when I don't know what my soulmark is?" my frown deepens as I push.

She sighs before giving me an answer, "You know what I think Maggie? I think that you'll know them when you meet them and then you'll realize what your mark is."

This seems to improve my mood, to think that I'll know them even when I don't know my mark. "Really mommy?"

"Yes dearest. I think so. Now come on, how about you help me make supper for our favorite guy?"

"Okay mommy." She helps me up onto the stepstool and gives me a spoon so I can help her stir the soup she's been making.

"I'll chop the vegetables and you stir, how about that?" I nod my head vigorously as my small hand takes the spoon from her perfectly manicured one.

"Mommy. Can you paint my nails like that after supper?" I touch the shiny red coat gently.

"Sure dearest." her laugh is tinkling like bells, a familiar sound that I love.

Glad with her answer I turn and stir the soup, being extra careful not to spill or splash the liquid. Every once in a while she adds in some new veggie or other food to the mix and I stop stirring until she finishes.

The door slams when she's adding salt and pepper and I nearly drop my spoon in surprise. I grin at my mother, "Daddy's home!"

"Well?" she raises an eyebrow, "Go say hello to your father and brother." I give her another big smile before hopping down and running towards the door.

"Daddy! Michael! James! Mr. and Mrs. Barnes!" I cry jumping into my father’s arms. I see James shake his head. He thinks he's so mature, but he's only 8. I swear I hear him groan before Michael jabs him with his elbow.

"Maggie." He welcomes me. "Did you have a good day at home with mommy? Soon you'll be going to school like James here you know." He smiles, and I hold back a frown, I'm not sure I really want to go to school. James seems to hate everything except his new friends, but Michael thinks it’s okay.

"She's not going to be in my class right dad?" James whines and his father shakes his head, "Be nice to little Maggie."

"But she's a girl."

"Yes, she's a girl, but she's a nice girl."

"Ah, Hello Mr. and Mrs. Barnes. James, Rebecca I see you." My mother greets and points somewhere near Mrs. Barnes legs.

"Hi Rebecca!" I wiggle so daddy puts me down and go to hug her. "Hi Maggie." She says quietly.

"Girls." James groans.

"Supper's ready whenever you are." my mother announces with her signature smile.

"I helped." I proudly tell them, standing tall.

I follow everyone into the dining room and we eat as much of the yummy soup as we can. When Rebecca and I are done we go to play in the living room with some of my toys. "What do you want to play?" I pick up my toy army plane and offer it to her.

"I want to play house or dollies." She ignores the plane and reaches towards a dolly with a poofy dress on.

"Okay." I reach for my favorite dolly, I've dressed her up in a military uniform that I took from a boy army doll of Michael’s.

"No. No. No." She protests, and I look at her confused, "What's wrong with Peggy?" I wrinkle my nose and frown.

"What is she wearing?" she sounds upset and I don't understand why.

"She's wearing her army uniform." I tell her proudly, offering it to her so she can see.

I hear a sigh and look up to see both of our parents, my daddy shaking his head. I feel my smile fade as my happiness at sharing my favorite dolly with Rebecca diminishes. I want to share her with daddy and mommy too, but they don't look too happy.

I don’t know why they don’t like her. Michael thought it was great, and even offered to play army with me.

 Suddenly Rebecca pulls her from my hands and just about tears off the uniform before grabbing a sparkly dress and yanking it on. "There. Much better. You can use her now."

"What's wrong with what she was wearing before? I liked it." I frown at the pretty dress, still preferring her uniform.

"It was ugly. Girls don't wear ugly clothes. Girls are supposed to wear pretty stuff and work easy jobs, not wear ugly stuff aned be in the military." The way she says it sounds snobby and I feel like I've been slapped.

"But.. But.. I want to be in the military. I want to help." For a moment I feel good for telling her this, that she'll change her mind and let my Peggy dolly wear her army clothes.

"Margaret." I hear my daddy's strained voice and look up, he doesn't look too happy.

"What's wrong daddy?"

"Nothing sweetie. I need you to come here for a moment." he still sounds strained, but I get up after setting Peggy down carefully and go to stand next to him. The next thing I know he's lifted me up and we're in my room.

"Margaret sweetie, you need to understand this- you can't have these silly thoughts. You can't do these things; you can't fight or be in the military like James's father will be. It's not ladylike."

I wrinkle my nose, "But why not? Why can't I do what boys do? I can't climb trees, I can't run, I can't play sports. I can’t do anything I want. That's not fair daddy!"

"Girls aren't as strong as boys are, they can't properly protect themselves. I don't want my baby girl getting hurt out there. We just want you safe sweetheart."

"But daddy! The only things anyone lets me do are so boring!" I wrinkle my nose again, this time in disgust.

"No buts Margaret. This is how it is, and I can't change these things just because it suits your fancy. Now be a good girl and forget all about this silly little notion of fighting and being like the boys."

I feel myself deflate at his words, my daddy's always right.

"Do you understand me?"

"Yes daddy." I mutter, scowling at my shiny black shoes.

"Good, now no scowling. It's not becoming of a lady of your standing." He offers me his hand and leads me back downstairs to join everyone again.

I despondently sat down again across from Rebecca and picked up a different dolly I named Felicia. She had pretty dark brown hair that I cut so it was at her shoulders with straight bangs and beautiful bright green eyes. She was one of the dollies I liked dressing up in pretty things. It just suited her.

"I thought you wanted to use your other doll." She says with a blunt tone to her voice.

"I decided I want to play with Felicia instead. I like dressing her up in pretty dresses." my voice is softer than before, I don't really feel like playing with her since she insulted my dolly's clothes and tried to dispose of them.

"Okay, let's play.." she trails off as she thinks, "ooh, house with your dollhouse!"

"Okay." I can't seem to care about what we do. Not when they won't let me play how I want.

She pulls me over, which is easy considering I'm not exactly fighting her, and shoves me down to sit in front of it. I never let people push me around, but I'm upset and feel like that's exactly what daddy wants me to do all the time. Let people push me around and walk all over me.

I try to at least sound enthusiastic, but I'm just not having fun. I'm not doing anything that I really feel like doing right now. I'm not being myself.

I hope they’re happy, I think grumpily as I am forced to play house with Rebecca.

Soon after the Barnes's left and I was left alone sitting next to my dollhouse just looking at Felicia in my lap. Sure, she was pretty, but she didn't look like me and I didn't play with her like she was me. That's why I preferred Peggy, because she was me and that's my new secret nickname I came up with for myself. Mommy and Daddy don't know that, they just think I liked the name.

I feel their eyes on my and look up to see mommy has a frown on her face.

"Why are you sad mommy?"

"Oh, everything's fine dearie. It's time for bed, I'm tired is all." She put on a fake smile like I couldn't tell the difference.

"Okay mommy." I pull myself to my feet and give them each a hug, "Goodnight mommy. Goodnight daddy." slowly I made my way up to my room to ready myself for bed. Carefully I pulled off the pretty dress mommy asked me to wear and draped it gently on my chair like she told me to before pulling on my pajamas. I'm sliding into bed when I hear them walking to the room down the hall for bed, arguing in whispers. I turned on my side and ignored it, at least I could dream about it.


	2. Age 13 (Peggy)

By the time we turned 13 Rebecca stopped wanting to 'play pretend' or 'dress up' like children but she wanted to gossip now which wasn't much better. She liked to insult me, telling me all my flaws like I didn't already know what they were. I hate to admit it but she was one of my only friends.

Don't get me wrong I liked to dress up and have fun, though I'm not nearly as interested in boys as she is. The only boy I currently want to know and have any real interest in besides my brother is the one who is supposed to be my soul mate.

"Come on already," I snap out of my revere and look up from the catalog I'd been staring into trying to appear like I was busy or half paying attention at least.

"Sorry what was that Rebecca?"

"Show me your soulmark! Or do you not have one?" She was nearly sneering at me and I tried to tell if she was kidding or not.

"I do, however my soulmark is not your business as yours is none of my business." I politely tell her.

She rolls her eyes, "Just show me."

"No Rebecca, I already told you. I don't want to. I think it's personal and I don't see why you find it so interesting." I say again over her grumbling.

"Ugh! You're insufferable!" She shouted in my face before turning on her heel and slamming all doors she could on her way out.

"What on earth was that?!" My father burst as I opened my door to the hallway.

"Rebecca wanted to see my soulmark. I told her no." I explain and he pinches the bridge of his nose.

"Why didn't you just show her?"

"Because I think it's personal and I don't want to. I don't know why she's so interested in it anyways."

"Well, now I'm going to get crap from her father because she's upset that you didn't show her."

"I shouldn't have to show her if I don't want to."

"She's right dear, if she doesn't want to she shouldn't have to." my mother came up, supporting me."

"Thank you." I turn to her, still exasperated with my father.

"Fine. But make it up to her somehow, I don't want to hear about it." He pointed his finger at me in a demanding manner and I shook my head.

"Ok." I sighed, I'm sick of sucking up to her just because she likes to act like a snob.

As soon as they went downstairs, leaving me alone in the hall, I retreated to my room. Opening my secret desk drawer I pull out my old Peggy doll, she's a little worn but still perfect to me. Gently I brush out her hair and straighten her outfit. She is still who I want to be, and as soon as I can I'm going to fight for my chance. I'm sure I can do anything that boys can do, and I want to help. I know I can help; I'm certain I can do more than be a nurse. That's just not me, not Margaret 'Peggy' Carter.

I sigh, more contented now, wondering when I'll get to do some real training with Michael. He says we have to be careful so mother and father don't see us, and I agree. I don't want them to be upset with Michael for helping me.


	3. 18th Birthday

Today was my 18th birthday and I was planning on doing everything I could to get myself enlisted. There's a war going on and we need all the help we can get. I feel I can be helpful and of use over there in Germany, or wherever needs me most. Even Michael says so, he's been encouraging me more about enlisting and joining him in the fight. Even recommended me to be used as a spy since I was so good at decoding and coding messages.

Walking briskly through the streets of New York I made my way to the enlistment center. We had come here within the last year, it was temporary my parents said. Just until the war was over. While it is nice here in America, I do miss home.

Before entering through the doors I stopped for a moment and adjusted my clothing to make sure they fell correctly and weren't messy.

Confidently I strode in and walked right up to the desk, it was early enough that I was luckily the only person besides the doctors and others working.

"I would like to enlist please."

The doctor sitting there looks me up and down, "You're a girl." he says with disbelief, looking almost incredulous, you would think he'd never seen a girl before.

"Yes, now if you please I would like to enlist." I repeat myself, gritting my teeth.

He's staring at me like I'm an idiot and I want to hit him. And then he's laughing in my face and I want to hit him even more, "You-want to-enlist?! That's-the-funn-iest th-ing I've he-ard all day!"

I feel myself heat up from anger. "Who do you think you are? I have every right to enlist; to help fight this war. The same right as you, or anybody else has!" I tell him, keeping my voice smooth. I'm used to this kind of treatment from men.

"Well hello there young lady." a distinguishably german voice calls out from off to my left and I turn to see another doctor.

"Hello." I greet politely while feeling wary, unsure if he's about to laugh at me too.

"So, you want to enlist?" He seems curious, almost like he's entertaining the idea of me actually enlisting.

"Yes, I do." I feel like I'm standing straighter and I hold my chin high.

He looks at me for a moment, scrutinizing me. "What is your name miss?"

I clear my throat, "Peggy, well Margaret, Carter." I make sure to pronounce my special nickname with clarity. I pause for the slightest moment, "Peggy is just a nick-name."

"Hello Miss Carter, I am Dr. Erksine. Please, come with me."

Immediately I pick up my briefcase and follow after tipping my tan brimmed hat with a smirk on my bright red lips at the other doctor who is near gaping. My skirt swishing and heels clicking on the floor are the only noticeable sounds as we walk down the hall and into another room behind a curtain on the right side of the hall.

"Please take a seat Miss Carter." He says as he sits down at the small table in the make-shift exam room. I take the other chair across from him.

"Why do you want to enlist?"

"I feel like I can help, and I want to help fight. I've always wanted to help fight, ever since I was a little girl."

"There are so many healthy, fit, young men already enlisting. Why would you feel the need to enlist?"

"Sometimes the best person for a job is actually a woman. I can make clear decisions, I can fight, defend myself, speak multiple languages, and I am a skilled code-breaker." I try to highlight the most important things that I can do, hoping for a miracle and he'll help me pass through.

"You have heart. I'm looking for someone to help me start up something, I call it Project Rebirth. How would you feel about coming with me, I can't promise you'll get action, but I can promise you'll have a job. You would help keep things organized, and do anything else that might be needed. If things go your way who knows if you'll be allowed to do more, especially with your skill-set."

He pulls out the file for me, the one for my enlistment, and stamps something on it. "You're in, but for starters you'll be helping manage this group and train them properly. They may not take you seriously, but you have to show them how wrong they are." He hands me my enlistment papers, I can barely believe it. "You're from Britain so I'm going to send your paperwork through to British Intelligence. When you get back overseas you'll be given other assignments from them,likely from Colonel Phillips, I run Project Rebirth with him." 

"Thank you Dr. Erksine." I breath out, still surprised.

"Prove me right Miss Carter." He pats my shoulder before leaving me alone.

I nearly jump in excitement before I compose myself. Can't show others that kind of display, save that for when I'm alone. Carefully I put the papers in my briefcase. I feel on top of the world. Just wait until Michael hears I've found a way in!

I leave with a smile on my face and tip my head at the young men who are just about to come in through the doors to enlist. I notice one boy, he's quite small though he looks determined. I offer him an encouraging smile, he's like me. I can tell. Like me, I'm sure he wants to do everything he can to help.

"Ma'am." he greets as he holds the door for me.

"Why thank you soldier."

"Why-I- I'm not a- soldier. Not yet anyway."

"You've tried before, have you?" I can see it in him, he's definately tried quite a few times.

"How can you tell." He whispers, his eyes widening in surprise.

"Just a hunch. But I'll tell you something, stay positive, stay strong, stay yourself. Keep at it and eventually you'll be able to make a difference the way you want to." With that I moved to stand on the other side out of the way.

"Good luck this time around soldier." I smile again before turning around and beginning to walk on my way home to begin packing.

"Thanks!" I hear him call, "Don't thank me yet." I call back over my shoulder, giving him one last look.

Soon I've made it home and that's when I realize I didn't get his name. "Crap." I mutter, "Can't believe I forgot to ask his name." Thankfully I'm outside and barely uttered the words so nobody really could have heard me.

Taking a deep breath I opened the front door and stopped in the foyer. "I'm home." I call out as I take my hat and hang it on the hook. Somehow I've managed to keep my army green suit set clean and straight on my walk home. Not out of place at all.

"Hello dearie." my mother called from her place in the kitchen.

"Where were you Maggie?" I exhale loudly, and take another deep breath before walking into the breakfast room. I set my case on the floor next to my chair as I take a seat. "I was out and about in town." I say lightly.

"Out and about?" he raised an eyebrow.

"Oh let her be, she's a teenage girl. She's probably been out with some boy." my mother gives me a suggestive look which I'm going to pretend I didn't see.

"Well, if you don't mind. I'm awfully tired, I think I'm going to retire a bit early to bed." I stand up and pick up my briefcase.

"All right." my father sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose.

"Thank you father. Have a splendid evening mother, goodnight." I quickly plant a kiss on each of my parents cheeks before scurrying to my room.

As quietly as I can I pack up a secret bag full of the army uniforms I'd manage to buy. They consisted of white shirts, green pencil skirts and matching blazer jackets. My combat laced boots and durable pants and shirts went in as well.I'm grateful for the help and advice Michael gave me when i went to purchase clothing more suitable for the army, since they didn't have standard issue sets for women. I also put in my favorite red dress, heels, and brown bomber jacket just for luck I suppose. I buried it in the back of my closet until tomorrow afternoon when I would get myself on the bus and overseas.


	4. High School Graduation Day

 

My high school graduation was today, the day after my birthday. I had managed to get myself enlisted with Dr. Erksine and would report to the station again today so I could travel with them to my post.

I know he couldn't guarantee me any real fighting, but I have the opportunity to help and organize our troops.

"Margaret Carter." I snap out of my thoughts as my name echos in my ears and walk up the few steps so I can receive my diploma.

I smiled politely and accept the thin paper from the school principle.

"Thank you." My smile feels fake to me, I wasn't given the opportunities I wanted through the classes they'd shoved at me.

When I walk off the stage I'm greeted by hugs from both my parents and other distant family. "Congratulations Maggie," My father begins, "You've finished your schooling. Soon you'll be settling down and really starting your life on your own." He doesn't realize how true his words are, though not in the way he imagines and sooner than he thinks.

"Find a nice man, have a family.." My mother trails off.

"Mother.." I sigh, she wants me to be getting married soon so she can have grandchildren and such.

"There are so many nice, handsome, young men in your class. And none of them caught your fancy? Really Margaret, I find that hard to believe." She gives me a pointed look.

"You used to be so lively, and full of energy. Truly could have been the life of the party, what happened to that girl? The girl all boys want."

"She grew up. Became the 'perfect' daughter she thought you wanted." my voice is dry, I don't care for this conversation. They didn't want me to truly be myself, and I was truly myself when I was trying to 'join' what the boys were all doing.

"If you'll excuse me I was supposed to meet up with someone I met on my walk yesterday." I try to excuse myself, "I would just like to go home and change clothes first."

"Ohh, a boy? It's a boy isn't it honey? What's his name?" my mother was acting just like Rebecca, with her love for gossip and talking about boys.

"Really mother, yes he is a boy. I didn't get a name, I thought I would go back and check on him. Make sure he's still doing all right. He was a nice fellow I met yesterday when I passed by the recruitment center. I chatted with him for a bit, and am going to go see if he's there, whether or not he was enlisted." I try to be as honest as I can, I truly do wish to know if he got in. He has the heart, the spirit for it.

She seems content with my answer, "So, may I go then?" I push slightly.

"Yes, of course dear. Don't be late for supper, and do bring him with you. I'd love to meet him."

"Thank you, I'll invite him if I see him Mother." When I'm turned away I roll my eyes, I can't believe she thinks I've become infatuated with him when I only met him once.

I hurry on my way, careful not to delay and as soon as I'm out of sight I am off and running as fast as I can in my heeled feet. Which is pretty fast as I am used to wearing heels all the time and am home within minutes.

Rushing I grabbed my suitcase from my room, changed into my uniform which did include short heels, and left immediately, although I did leave a note on my bedside table. They wouldn't notice it immediately but would find it too late after I'm off and out of the country.

Quickly I made my way back down to the enlistment center. I pulled the door open after straitening my skirt and smiled at the people already there in uniform.

"Ah, hello Dr. Erksine." I greet the kind doctor who's already there.

"Ah, Miss Carter. I was worried you wouldn't be showing up today, decided to back out."

"I never back down once I've started something Doctor." I give him a smile.

"Shall we?" He gestures towards the doors near the busses and I nod. "Of course."

The soldiers still here were just saying their last goodbyes before getting on the busses to leave the states.

Taking a deep breath I walk towards the doors with and onto the crowded bus. With ease I put my suitcase up in one of the compartments above the first seat and sit immediately below it. I cross my legs and rest my hands in my lap, making sure to sit up straight and show confidence.

"What are you doing here pretty lady?" One man nearly leers at me, giving me a suggestive smile.

"She's going to be one of your supervising officers." Doctor Erksine's tone is one of warning as he answers before I can interject, "She's highly trained." He reassures him of my ability.

"But-"

"No buts soldier." I interrupt this time.

"Yes, ma'am." he sighs and before I know it we are off on our way. I do sit alone, though Dr. Erksine sits in the seat next to me. We make small talk as we are driven to the planes. Once on the plane Dr. Erksine is seated next to me by the window and I'm on the aisle.

"So you're the woman the Doctor wanted on this project."

I turn to see a general sitting in the aisle next to me. "Yes sir. Margaret Carter." I introduce and offer my hand for him to shake. He looks at it warily before shaking my hand. "Agent." he corrects, "You better be as good as he says you are."

I offer a nervous smile, " I hope so too." I look forward and settle into my chair as we take off.


	5. Recruits

A few months later training is going well; they're allowing me to take on numerous responsibilities- however, still no active fighting role. But they are partially putting me in charge of training a new group of recruits; all possible candidates for Dr. Erksine's super soldier formula. Although I have not met any of them, I will be today. I am disappointed however, that I have yet to see the small man who I spoke with on my birthday.

I gathered the clipboard and other things I required I got up to go meet these candidates. I hope at least one of them has the heart and determination the young fellow did.

I blinked a few times as my eyes quickly adjusted to the sharp brightness of the sun.

"C'mon Carter, we're burning daylight." Phillips called to me from his position at his desk. "I'll be right along, you go ahead."

"Yes sir." I nodded my head towards him in acknowledgement before walking towards the training area. I didn't have much time to survey the men who stood there, waiting to be addressed.

"Gentleman, I'm Agent Carter. I supervise all operations of this division." I introduce myself clearly, my voice loud and commanding.

"What's with the accent, Queen Victoria? Thought I was signing up for the U.S. Army." one soldier speaks up, his tone nearly mocking and I can tell he thinks that I'm joking. I look at him before I speak; he's nothing special, just another big, young fellow who thinks his strength will win him everything he wants.

"What's your name soldier?" I step closer to him.

"Gilmore Hodge, your Majesty." He continues his jest, and I try to squash some of my anger at his attitude.

I purse my lips slightly, still annoyed, "Step forward, Hodge." I instruct, which he does a second later after assessing me to see if I'm serious.

"Put your right foot forward." My hands are still by my side, waiting to see his reaction. He still has a chance to apologize and back down, which of course he doesn't take.

"Are we dancing? Cause I got a few moves I know you'll like." He dares to flirt with me, albeit pitifully and I make my decision in a split second.

I throw a punch right at his face and he collapses into the dirt immediately, holding his nose.

"Breaking in the candidates, that's good." I turn around quickly on my heel to see Phillips has arrived and I turn back slowly this time, my eyes following him as he's about to give his little 'speech' about soldiers and winning the war.

"Get you up out of that dirt and stand in that line at attention 'til somebody comes and tells you what to do." He instructs the soldier I've hit with a look of what appears to be disdain.

"Yes sir." Hodge kind of sniffs a little, probably trying to block out the pain of being hit by a girl no doubt.

The Colonel begins to speak as he walks back and forth in front of the troops, observing them. "General Patton has said that wars are fought with weapons but they are won by men. We are going to win this war because we have the best men." He noticeably pauses as he looks at one recruit before continuing, "And because they are going to get better. Much better." At this I give in and look at the soldier only to be greeted by the small man who I met on my birthday. I contain my giddiness, I'm truly happy to see him; I look at Dr. Erksine for a moment and that confirms my suspicion that he also approved him.

"The Strategic Scientific Reserve is an allied effort made up of the best minds in the free world. Our goal is to create the best army in history. But every army starts with one man. At the end of this week we will choose that man. He will be the first in a new breed of super-soldiers." I tune him out again for a moment as I observe the lone soldier, he had glanced at Hodge a few times with a small smirk on his lips- clearly he approved of my actions.

After that we began their training with many obstacle courses and challenges, and for some reason I still have yet to learn the soldiers name that has captivated my thoughts.


	6. Erksine Chooses A Soldier

 

A few days later they're running. I'm of course not allowed to join them and am riding in the jeep with the colonel and doctor. I look over my shoulder at them as Phillips tells them to move faster.

We stop at a flag which Phillips say's nobody has retrieved in a long time- I think he said 40 or 50 years. I was too busy watching the soldier. as he catches up, exhausted and out of breath,but still not giving up. Suddenly they're all lunging at the pole trying to climb up like children after the Colonel said they'd get a ride back the rest of the way if they retrieved it. They were given about 20-30 seconds and we were about to go when the small man walked up, finally having room for a chance.

"Rogers!" Phillips calls out with irritation, but he ignores him and reaches down to pull out the pin. The pole falls and he grabs the flag with the utmost ease and he hands it off to Phillips with a small smile on his lips. "Thank you." He says, out of breath, before he sits down behind me. I offer him a smile when he looks me in the eyes.

The next day I am having them go through rigorous training with push ups, jumping jacks, and other various exercises. I keep an eye on Rogers who looks like he's struggling and just might pass out from dehydration or something of the like. I overhear Phillips and Erksine talking and listen in as they continue after I bark out something about my dead grandmother being able to move faster than them.

"You're not really thinking about picking Rogers, are you?" He seems irked with the Doctor.

"I am more than just thinking about it. He is the clear choice." I smile at this, I certainly agree. The Colonel lets out an exaggerated sigh.

"When you brought a ninety pound asthmatic onto my army base, I let it slide. I thought, what the hell? Maybe he'll be useful to you, like a gerbil. I never thought you'd pick him." He turns and gestures to him, "Stick a needle in that kids arm and it's gonna go right through him." I turn back to see Rogers is struggling more, yet he won't quit. He keeps on toughing it out and pushing through his obvious exhaustion. His shirt is stained with sweat visible because of the dirt and his forehead is shining, though the others also have visible sweat it's not as much. "Look at that, he's making me cry."

"I am looking for qualities beyond the physical." The Doctor gestures with his hands, trying to convey the importance.

"Do you know how long it took to set up this project?" Phillips sounds like he's getting upset, possibly angry with the Doctor's insistence.

"Yeah, I know." Erksine sighs.

"And all the groveling I had to do in front of senator what's his name." he goes on.

"I know. I am well aware of your efforts." Erksine bows his head slightly, as if a way to thank him for doing so.

"Then throw me a bone. Hodge passed every test we gave him. He's big, he's fast, he obeys orders. He's a soldier." Phillips is almost pleading with Erkine, almost not quite. I shake my head at his statement. Hodge is only a soldier in body, but not mind in my opinion. He is almost as much of a child now as he was when he arrived here.

"He's a bully." I am almost startled at what the Doctor says but I let a small smirk fall on my lips, I wholeheartedly agree with him.

"You don't win wars with niceness Doctor." Phillips pulls a small device I'm pretty sure is a grenade from the back of the truck they're next to. "You win wars with guts." he concludes with a sharp look at him before he throws it towards the recruits. "Grenade!" He shouts. Immediately I react and move forward to help, and the rest of the soldiers all run away scared except one. Rogers quickly jumps around it before I can get close enough to do something, covering it with his small body. "Get away! Get back!" He yells at everyone. After a few seconds another soldier yells, "It's a dummy grenade." and he finally uncurls with a confused look on his face. I let my admiration and astonishment show on my face, I am proud of this one soldier who's only thought was to protect everyone even at the cost of his own life. "Is this a test?" He looks up at me.

"He's still skinny." I hear Phillips relent as he near storms away. He hops up to his feet, though with a little difficulty because of his tiredness. The doctor is next to us right after. "Congratulations soldier."

"On what?" He's still breathing hard, trying to catch his breath.

"You've earned your chance. I've chosen you for Project Rebirth. Everything will be settled and we shall commence with the appropriate tests this weekend. I shall give you the appropriate papers and information the prior day." He reaches out to shake his hand and Rogers hand is shaking when he takes the Doctor's hand.

"Thank you."

"Agent, if you will come with me. I need your assistance preparing everything and contacting everyone." He turned to me.

"Of course Doctor." I turn to Rogers once more, "Congratulations soldier." I give him an encouraging smile and he breathlessly smiles back. "Thank you Agent Carter." He accepted my rank immediately from the start, and he didn't resent me for it. Instead he respected me and that delighted me.

 

 


	7. The Serum

Two days later I'm sitting on my bunk, I've been graced with a small cabin to myself as I am the only girl, looking at the Peggy doll- the vision I'd had as a child and finally began to turn myself into. The person I wanted to be when I was young; the person I try my best to be.

The other item in my hand is a small handwritten letter from both of my parents. They are begging me to come home to them and some boy they were trying to set me up with. It's their first letter to me and it's comprised almost entirely of angry words. All of them disapproving of the person I want to be, of who I am.

It's almost surprising really, how I almost don't care what they think. I thought it would hurt more, finally receiving word from them telling me how disgraceful I am, how the only boy they can find who will accept me is some son of a friend of father's. I do not want to be shoved into something I don't want, that's why I ran away to the military.

I glance at my watch to find it's time to go escort Rogers to the facility.

Soon after I go to retrieve him from his bunk we are seated in the backseat of a car heading for an undercover shop in Brookline.

"I know this neighborhood. I got beat up in that alley. And that parking lot. And behind that diner." He calmly tells me, though he hangs his head. I cannot tell if he is ashamed or proud of this.

"Did you have something against running away?" I look at him, wondering how he survived the pain and torment he must've endured.

"You start running they'll never let you stop. You stand up, push back. Can't say no forever, right?" The words that come from his mouth are pure wisdom, and I can see in his eyes that dislike of bullies, like Hodge.

"I know a little of what that's like. To have every door shut in your face." I relate to his words.

"I guess I just don't know why you'd wanna join the army if you're a beautiful dame. Or a beautiful.. a woman. An agent, not a dame! You are beautiful, but..." he trials off as he tries to backpedal to fix his blunder, his cheeks are tinted pink and he is flustered. I look at him perplexed, I am rather flattered Steve thinks I'm beautiful. Not what I would have expected my reaction to be, but these aren't normal circumstances I suppose.

"You have no idea how to talk to a woman, do you?" I ask after a moment, my intuition having little to do with observing the obvious.

"This is the longest conversation I've had with one. Women aren't exactly lining up to dance with a guy they might step on." He admits, looking down again and now he seems almost disheartened, but not entirely upset. He's more concerned with fighting and helping in the war efforts.

"You must have danced?" I ask, appalled at the possibility that he'd never danced. It was something I enjoyed, even thought it was incredibly 'girly' it was still something I considered a gift. It was joyful even when everything was sad and dreary.

"Well, asking women to dance always seemed so terrifying. And the past few years it just didn't seem to matter that much. I figured I'd wait." He calmly responds to my question. He doesn't seem bothered by it as much as I am.

"For what?" honestly, what could a gentleman such as himself be waiting for? He's so sweet, I don't know why any girl would reject him except for maybe one reason. His size I guess would be an issue for most girls, they're so vain it disgusts me actually.

"The right partner." He smiles like it's the most obvious thing in the world and I can't help but think about the possibility, what if I'm the right partner. I find myself hoping that I am, he has the heart and determination I've always looked for in a man but never truly found.

We ride in comfortable silence and he follows me into the small antique shop where the clerk comes out from the back.

"Lovely weather we're having today." she looks at me expectantly.

"Yes, but I always carry an umbrella." I reply with the code phrase smoothly and without faltering. She nods and moves behind the counter before pressing a hidden button the opens the secret entrance at the back where she just came out from.

He follows me again, looking around in astonishment at what just happened. The doctor asks him to remove his shirt which he does after setting aside his tie and hat. He really is skin and bone, though he doesn't seem embarrassed or bothered by it.

"You'll be more comfortable in the box Agent Carter." Erksine turns to me next. I really don't' want to go, but he looks insistent so I reluctantly turn and go towards the stairs. Looking over my shoulder Steve's eyes connect with mine before I'm forced to turn around.

He lays on the device and they load up the bright blue serum. In a matter of minutes they are beginning and the device is closed with light shining through the small window. Howard is reading off the capacity as it is reached and suddenly Steve is screaming in pain. I hurriedly leave the box and am on the stairs and bark the order at them "Shut it down!" My voice is demanding as I yell. Quickly I continue down the stairs but am stopped at the bottom.

"Steven!" Doctor Erksine yells as he frantically knocks on the window of the capsule.

"Shut it down!" I demand again, pushing past the agents who were holding me back.

"Kill the reactor Mr. Stark! Kill the reactor!" Erksine turns and yells with urgency.

"No! Don't" Steve's voice suddenly filters through the glass, obviously in pain. "I can do this!" his voice still holds determination and my admiration comes back with full force. He's willing to endure an immense amount of pain for 's experiment, which may or may not kill him, but it could also turn him into the super-soldier that Erksine envisioned and then he can finally stand up the bullies.

Howard lowers his sunglass goggles again and finishes turning the wheel a little faster than before. The light from the window becomes too bright to look at and I shield my eyes, but don't look away.

Finally the light seems to dim and the pod begins to open and Steve truly is transformed. He's bigger than before and looks as strong s all the other soldiers.

I rush forward and am in front of Rogers, two of the scientists have helped him down from the pod.

"How do you feel?" I look over his face for signs of the duress I heard.

"Taller." was the one word he gave me. I give a short laugh, "You look taller." I confirm before hesitantly reaching out to touch him, subconsciously feeling like I needed a tactile confirmation that the change was real. I retract my hand the second it touched his skin, feeling awkward about what I just did.

A few nurses are shamelessly looking him up and down when they'd been sticking their noses up just minutes ago, and people are coming down to look at him and congratulate the Doctor.

I had to admit, I felt a little like those nurses ogling Steve right about now. I had thought he had a cute, handsome face. Now, he just had a healthier, more muscled and built body to go with it. 

All of the sudden there was an explosion and a bang of a gun being shot. I stand next to him, looking down at Erksine as he was bleeding out with Steve trying to help him. He says something to Steve, I can't really hear him but I think it's something about choosing him for a reason. I turn and run out after a man who grabbed the last tube of formula and am shooting at his car immediately. It turns around and is racing towards me as I shoot at it. Suddenly I'm being pushed to the ground, barely touching it as the person who pushed me tried to cushion my fall too. "I had them!" I angrily say when I look at Steve.

"Sorry!" he calls as he runs to chase them. I'm left standing in the street as he runs. My breath is caught in my throat as I watch him run, surprised at the difference in his stamina. He'd catch hi, of that I was sure. Still, I gave chase, ready to assist if he needed me.


	8. The 107th

Th

at same week Steve was outfitted in a red, white, and blue suit and was doing shows to promote buying war bonds. He was shipped off back to the states, going around and raising the sale of war bonds in every state he went to. I kept an eye on the papers we received with news from the states. I was disappointed that he was not here with us, but he was coming over soon to do more shows for his fellow soldiers which I feel may not go over so well.

...

Soon Steve is back, and I'm really happy he's here with us again. I haven't had the chance to speak with him since he got back and I seek him out after the disaster that was his show for what remained of the 107th.

He's sitting outside drawing what appears to be himself as a monkey on a unicycle.

"What are you doing here?" He asks when he hears me approach.

"Officially I'm not here at all. That was quite a performance." The performance was quite unique and I'm at a loss for a way to describe it without being negative.

"Yeah. Uh, I had to improvise a little bit. The crowds I'm used to are usually more.. uh.." he trails off seeming at a loss for words himself.

"But I understand you Americans knew hope?" I don't know why I ask this, but I do.

"Bond sales take a ten percent bump in every state I visit." He responds dryly.

"Is that Senator Brandt I hear?" I tease as I move closer to him.

"At least he's got me doing this. Phillips would have had me stuck in a lab." He sighs, obviously upset with his current situation.

"And these are your only two options?" I raise an eyebrow as I stand next to Steve. "A lab rat or a dancing monkey?" I find this preposterous. "You were meant for more than this, you know?" I reassure him, though he looks like he's hesitating. "What" He looks into my face.

"You know for the longest time I dreamed about coming overseas and being on the front lines. Serving my country." He looks away again, out to the pouring rain surrounding the small building.

"I finally got everything I wanted, and I'm wearing tights." He shakes his head with another small sigh.

I purse my lips, trying to come up with something that will make him see that he and I are alike. We are not given the chance to fight on the front lines, to truly help win this deadly war even though it's more dangerous than we first thought we are in a way lucky to not be there.

"Schmidt sent out a force to Rosano. Two hundred men went up against him and less than fifty returned. Your audience contained what was left of the 107th. The rest were killed or captured."

He looks up with an almost worried look on his features. "The 107th?"

"What?" He grabs my hand, "C'mon!" he pulls me along into the rain as we run through the mud all the way to Phillips work tent.

"Colonel Phillips?" Steve isn't even out of breath when we get there, I'm breathing heavier than he is from the quick run.

"Well, if it isn't the star spangled man with a plan. And what is your plan today?" Phillips raises his eyes and looks at him, he looked like he could start laughing at Steve's particular outfit at any moment. He enjoyed mocking it, as he thought it tacky.

"I need the casualty list for Rosano." His voice rang through the busy tent and the Colonel looked at his with clear surprise.

"You don't get to give me orders, son." he looked ready to glare at Steve.

"I just need one name. Sergeant James Barnes from the 107th." his voice is pleading and I realize he must have been his friend.

Phillips points at me clearly not happy with me for some reason, "You and I are going to have a conversation later that you won't enjoy."

Steve glanced between us, he appeared to be torn between defending me and inquiring after his friend. I gave him a look , trying to convey to him that I could easily take care of myself.

"Please tell me if he's alive sir. B-A-R-" he begins to spell out the name but the colonel cuts him off.

"I can spell." He gives him a look before gesturing to the papers in front of him on his desk. "I have signed more of these condolence letters than I care to count. But the name does sound familiar. I'm sorry." I felt my heart break for Steve, his friend gone.

""What about the others? Are you planning a rescue mission?" He pressed.

"Yeah! It's called winning the war. " He snorted, obviously not believing what he was hearing.

"But if you know where they are, why not at least..?" he trails off the question, not entirely sure how to finish the thought.

"They're thirty miles behind the lines. Through eh most heavily fortified territory in Europe. We'd lose more men than we'd save. I don't expect you to understand that, because you're a chorus girl." His words cut deep, I can tell.

"I think I understand just fine." he sets his jaw.

"Well then go understand it somewhere else. If I read the posters correctly you got someplace to be in thirty minutes." He sneers as he walks away from us.

"Yes sir, I do." Steve's voice is quiet and I walk with him. He grabs stops in the backstage area and returns with a helmet and his shield.

We walk to a pick up when I finally burst out with my question. "What do you plan to do? Walk to Austria?" He tosses his shield in the bed of the truck.

"If that's what it takes."

"You heard the colonel. Your friend is most likely dead." I know my words are harsh, but I want him to understand what he's doing.

"You don't know that." He looks up at me from the drivers seat.

"Even so he's devising a strategy to take-" He cuts me off ,"By the time he's done that it could be too late!" He looks and sounds determined as he shakes his head.

"You told me you though I was meant for more. Did you mean that?" he looks up at me, uncertainty mixed with hope now clear on his face and I take a deep breath. What I'm about to do could very well send me home, right back to the last place I wish to be.

"Every word." I confirm as I lean towards him slightly. We are but inches apart.

"Then you gotta let me go." He's actually pleading with me. I currently outrank him, so he needs permission from a commanding officer which right now I am the only one present.

"I can do better than that." I smirk at him and he looks at me confused but follows me immediately when I grab his hand and tug, much like he'd done to me less than a half an hour prior.

Soon I have gotten the both of us on a plane with Howard Stark, he's an incredible pilot.

"You know, you two are going to be in a lot of trouble at the lab."

"And you won't?" I raise an eyebrow.

"Where I'm going, if anybody yells at me I can just shoot them"

I shake my head with a small smile on my lips, "They will undoubtedly shoot back."

"Well, let's hope it's good for something." I have a moment to ponder his words before Howard yells back at us. "Agent Carter, if we're not in too much of a hurry I thought we could stop off in Lucerne for a late night fondue."

I don't know why but suddenly it feels awkward and I look up at Steve, who is obviously confused about something.

"Stark is the best civilian pilot I've ever seen. He's mad enough to brave this airspace. We're lucky to have him." again I shake my head slightly, I've actually known Stark for years. He's been my friend for quite some time, though my parents certainly don't know about it. If they did they'd push me towards him immediately just because he's rich.

"So are you two...? Do you...? Fondue...?" He trails off, leaving each linger in the air. I raise an eyebrow and shake my head, how does he still not know how to properly talk to a woman? And goodness, he doesn't know what fondue is. No wonder he was confused. The plane shakes and Howard says something about being attacked and Steve goes towards the opened door of the plane, looking ready to jump.

"Get back here! We're taking you all the way in!" I yell at him, trying to keep my voice from sounding too concerned.

"As soon as I'm free, turn this thing around and get outta here!" My eyes widen, "You can't give me orders!" I yell back, a small rush of anger at being told what to do when I have the higher rank.

"The hell I can't! I'm a captain!" He yells as he looks at me, a smirk on his face. The next second he's jumping out of the plane. As soon as he's gone, Howard turns the plane around and we head back to base. I snort, feeling that he probably only said that because he was jumping out and I couldn't hit him for it.


	9. Response to Question

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone had posted a question onto the copy on Fanfiction.net so this my response. I figure others probably have the same question about my reasoning.

Hannahlovespll :

This note is in response to your question, which I'm sure others have, about Peggy not recognizing Bucky's last name when she heard it.

She wasn't real close with James growing up, and didn't know his friends call him Bucky- so that will be new to her later when she officially 'meets' him.

There are often so many families with the same last name, that in the excitement, commotion, and urgency she didn't immediately connect the familiar last name to her childhood. So she doesn't necessarily know that it's James (Bucky); for all she knows right now it's just a random coincidence that his friend shares the same last name as the family she grew up knowing.


	10. Success

I'm stuck hiding around the base, actively avoiding Colonel Phillips wherever I go as I await Steve's call for Howard and I to fly out for him again.

After a few hours of sneaking around I'm finally caught and pulled in to speak with Phillips. Some soldiers told him I was the last person they saw Rogers with before he disappeared and at least one had seen Stark so he must have connected the dots. Squaring my shoulders and gritting my teeth I quickly move to stand in front of his desk. "You called for me, Sir?" I keep my voice as smooth and clear as possible even though I'm sure he's going to throw me out disgracefully.

He stands up and drags his hand across his chin wearily. "I can't touch Stark, he's rich and he's the army's number one weapons contractor." I breath a sigh of relief for Howard. He was only involved because I'd asked. "You are neither one!" My chest tightens in anticipation and I decide to at least try to defend myself.

"With respect sir, I don't regret my actions. And I don't think Captain Rogers did either."

"What makes you think I care about your opinions. I took a chance with you Agent Carter. And now America's golden boy and a lot of other good men are dead because you had a crush." I am taken aback at his scathing words.

"It wasn't that. I had faith." I shake my head, trying to clear out the idea that I could actually have a crush on Captain Rogers. It's a silly notion, isn't it? My own thoughts seem uncertain to me and I push them away.

"Well, I hope that's a big comfort to you when they shut this division down." His voice raises as he shows how angry he is and is standing right in front of me while I hold my breath. I open my mouth slightly, trying to think up something else to say that might help when I hear shouts of utter surprise and I look away from the Colonel towards the front gates. I don't have a good view and the Colonel is more interested in seeing what's going on than yelling at me so I hurriedly join the other soldiers and am left with a relieved smile on my face when I see what the commotion is all about. It's Steve Rogers, and he's leading a whole hoard of men back to camp.

When they stop in front of the Colonel and I Steve speaks up. "I'd like to surrender myself for disciplinary action." He humbly bows his head, resigned to his fate. He knows he wasn't supposed to, and that I really wasn't either, but he also knows it's likely that they wouldn't' have survived long enough for another rescue plan.

"That won't be necessary." Phillips shakes his head, a rueful look on his face mixed with amazement.

"Faith huh?" He raises his eyebrow at me before walking away from the giant group.

"Let's hear it for Captain America!" I hear a voice from next to him call and realize it's one I recognize. I look for conformation to see James Barnes. I quickly recover from my shock to look back at the Captain.

"You're late." I scold, not truly mad. He made it back and that's all that matters to me right now, even if he was supposed to call us for a ride hours ago.

"I couldn't call my ride." He offers a small smirk as he holds up a broken communicator and I shake my head, a laugh threatening to spill out. I feel James eyes on me and glance back for moment to see utter disbelief on his face as well but I ignore him and turn my full attention to Steve.

"You know, if it weren't for you I never would've made it." He confesses with a smile.

"That's because your plan was stupid and reckless, I had to fix it." He lets out a chuckle, "You certainly did." He looks up through his lashes at me again, almost bashfully and I feel butterflies in my stomach. "Remind me to come to you whenever I need a plan." His smile leaves me breathless and I can only smile in response.


	11. PVT Lorraine and A New Shield

The next morning I arrive at the records and testing area, really it was more like a lab for Howard, to find Steve already there impeccably dressed in his standard issue military uniform decorated with a few medals and pins. I raise an eyebrow at this, I'd have thought he'd want to rest up a little bit after yesterday's first real mission. I don't say anything as I take my place next to him as he marks down where he remembers the bases being from seeing a map in the Hydra base.

"I only got a glimpse." He shakes his head, it's easy to tell he's not that sure of himself. Really, his memory is amazing.

"Well, nobody's perfect." I smile at him with my teasing words, which he returns and sends my stomach tumbling with butterflies once more.

"Agent Carter!" I hear someone snap, "Excuse me, I'll be right back." I sigh. "I'll be waiting." He continues to smile at me, and I feel his eyes follow me as I make my way over to receive instructions from the Colonel who hands me a stack of paperwork. "Fill this stuff out, and go deal with Stark I can't stand him." he waves me off the second he finishes his sentence.  _'Well that was certainly quick.'_

I turn around and look around, Steve's no longer where he was a moment ago and I begin to walk in the direction where we were, hoping to find him.

I turn a corner by the file cabinets to see that horrid girl Lorraine roughly take a-hold of Steve's tie and yank him in to kiss him. I grit my teeth, just as he softly pushes her away. I feel a bit satisfied that he pushed her away quickly, though not enough to quell my anger and I find myself selfishly wishing he'd pushed her away with more force. "Captain! We're ready for you. If you're not otherwise occupied." I turn and begin to walk away swiftly, not bothering to wait even though I know I'm being rather short with him.

"Agent Carter, wait!" his voice sounds almost desperate as he calls after me and quickly catches up.

"Looks like finding a partner wasn't that hard after all." I snip at him, jealousy coiling hotly in the pit of my stomach, and almost immediately regret it by the look on his face, a mixture of horror and an almost deflated look.

"Peggy, that's not what you think it was." He continues to insist, almost sounding like he's pleading with me to believe him.

"I don't think anything, Captain. You always wanted to be a soldier and now you are. Just like the rest." I'm really not trying to be snippy with him, I'm not mad at him I'm mad at her. It's coming out at him since she was left over there and I can't go back and just punch her without being heavily reprimanded and questioned, although it'd be worth it.

"Well, what about you and Stark? How do I know you two haven't been... fonduing?" He seems to genuinely still not know what fondue is and I shake my head.

"You still don't know a bloody thing about women!" I move away and began to inspect the guns at the other end of the table, as far away from Howard and Steve I can get right now. They stark talking and move a little closer and I can hear their conversation, though I'm not really trying to I'm somewhat interested in hearing what he's got to say.

"I hear you're uh.. kinda attached?" Howard raises an eyebrow as he gestures to the old shield the Captain had received to use in his stage shows.

"It's handier than you might think." Steve shrugs slightly.

"I took the liberty of coming up with some options." he pulls a sheet off the table to reveal some different shield designs. "This one's fun She's been fitted with electrical relays. It'll allow you to.." Steve cuts him off, genuine curiosity in his voice, "What about this one?" He pulls it out from beneath the table. It's round and silver, I can't recall exactly, but I think Howard said it was vibranium or something of the like. But I do recall that the metal was extremely rare.

"No! No! That one's just a prototype." He shakes his head as Steve feels the weight in his hands.

"What's it made of?"

"Vibranium. It's stronger than steel and a third of the weight. It's completely vibration absorbent." I feel myself smirk slightly at the fact that I remembered what the metal was called.  
"How come it's not a standard issue?"

"That's the rarest metal on earth. What you're holding there, that's all we got." Howard frowns and shakes his head, sort of disappointed I think.

"What do you think?" He calls down to me and I barely glance at him or even bat an eye as I pick up the nearest gun and begin to shoot. He is quick to pull it up and protect himself.

"Yes, I think it works." I put the gun back down and make my way out of the lab, going straight for my bunk so I wouldn't have to see Private Lorraine again. She seems like she's everywhere I would otherwise go and many of the soldiers are taken with her, why'd she have to go after the one I fancied? I stop in my tracks, do I fancy Steve? Yes, I believe I do. I blink rapidly at the sudden realization, and smile again when I recall that he pushed her away from him albeit much gentler than I would have liked.


	12. Assembling Captain's New Team

At about eight o'clock I decide to put on my favorite red dress and go down to the small bar that's been built on base where all the soldiers took their well deserved breaks and grab a drink. I fix up my curls and apply some fresh red lip stick, knowing that the Captain will be there.

Taking a deep, calming breath I got up to leave my bunk. Closing the door softly on my way out I make my way quickly and with ease down to the miniature bar.

I take another breath as I pause at the door, quickly I force myself inside and scan the room. I purse my lips when I don't see him in this room, but I do see Lorraine and she's ogling someone from the doorway to the other room unabashedly. I shake my head at her foolishness, but an idea hits me; it's probably Steve. Feeling rushed I barely restrain myself from increasing my easy pace and, as politely as I can manage, say, "Excuse me." when I reach the door-frame which Lorraine has occupied.

She startles and gives me a glare, probably for interrupting her unabashed, uninterupted ogling of the Captain.

It does me no use to dwell on this for the moment, since it will make my anger at her flare back up and I don't know if I'd be able to stop myself from punching the pretentious blonde. Moving past her I feel satisfaction as she doesn't move enough and I have to push around and jostle her a little so that I can make my way into the room. Immediately my eyes drawn over to the Captain. It only takes a moment for him to look up and our eyes to meet. My breath is caught in my thought at the way his face lights up and his smile widens upon seeing me. His friend, James, or rather Bucky as they seem to call him now, looks over his own shoulder to see what has captured Steve's attention. I can't help the small smile that graces my lips as I make my way over. 

As I approach I can see the group of men he's come to admire, one's he's rescued from the hydra base that first fateful mission. "I see your top squad is prepping for duty." They're singing, laughing and having some drinks. Celebrating the fact that they were saved, rescued and now will be fighting alongside the man who came for them.

"You don't like music?" He seems to deflate just slightly at the idea of the possibility.

"I do, actually. I might, even when this is all over, go dancing."

"Then what are we waiting for?" James finally speaks up, looking between us. Silently I thank James for giving me the opening to reply.  
"The right partner." reply with the same words Steve told me the day of the experiment. He raises an eyebrow just slightly, but his mood has improved and he is almost smirking at me. Though it's not in a possessive or rude way, it's more like a smile is tugging at the corners of his mouth.

"Hey, Agent Carter! Come have a drink with us!" It's Dugan calling to me, to join the group Steve has assembled. I laugh, "Oh, all right." I go to move past the Captain and give him a quick wink. I don't really know why I did it, just to be spontaneous I guess. I take a seat next to Dugan and order a drink before I fully join in the conversation while still being able to hear Steve and James's conversation. Not intentionally of course, they just happen to be close enough to hear even over the loud defining sounds present in the bar.

"I'm invisible.. i'm... i'm turning into you. It's like some horrible dream." Barnes chokes out, seemingly unnerved.

"Don't take it too hard. Maybe she's got a friend?" I barely hold back my grin at the way he and James interact, before they're joining us. Steve stands next to my chair and James takes the seat on the other side of the table. The bar is quite crowded so there are no seats left and I feel a little bit bad for the captain who is forced to stand.

"You can have my seat Captain." I go to stand, but he cuts me off. "No, it's quite alright Agent Carter. I'm content to stand at the moment."

"Are you sure?" I ask once more, just to give him the chance to change his mind.

"You could always share the seat." Barnes quips and Steve blushes in the dim lighting.

"Yes, I'm alright. Thank you for the offer though." He smiles at me and leans on my chair. The rest of the evening we spend talking and laughing with his team over drinks. It feels right to be a part of this team of seemingly misfit soldiers. They are quite the group and I am quite honored to be with them tonight, and hopefully many more.


	13. Losing Barnes

A handful missions later the Howling Commando's, as we've taken to calling them, have gone off on a mission that involves zip-lining onto the top of a moving train. I'm sadly not allowed to join them on this mission, even though I helped Steve orchestrate this whole thing.

And although I am not yet documented as being an official Howling Commando, they all consider me to be one of them. Truly, I am honored by the trust and loyalty they have put in me.

So here I am stuck doing all kinds of dull paperwork while Dernier, Morita, Dugan, Barnes, Falsworth and Jones all get to go with the Captain on this dangerous mission. Quite unfair, though I'm glad that they at least will be there to have the Captain's back and stick to the plan I assisted in carefully constructing. However the only three who will not be joining them are Juniper who actually came up with the name for the group, Pinkerton and Sawyer. They get to stay behind because they are helping monitor the situation best they can with Stark from here on base, not only that but they are also looking over new tech with him.

By the time they finally return I am worn out by paperwork, but not enough that I don't notice the devastated look Steve's face and the missing person.

"Steve? What's wrong? Where's Barnes?" I put my hand gently on his shoulder and he lifts mournful eyes to meet mine. He doesn't seem to be able to give me much answer, "He's gone."

"Oh Steve." I want to comfort him but he won't have any of it right now and goes off in the direction of the bar.

Quick as I can I do my duty and read through the reports the Commando's gave. I feel my heart just wrench for them, especially Steve who has just lost his best childhood friend. Barnes had been born in Brooklyn too, but had spent quite some time in Britain. Actually, Rebecca stayed to go to a rather prestigious boarding school with me while the rest of the family went back home. After I've finished reading and filing them appropriately I immediately go to the bar to speak to Steve to try to offer some comfort, I've never been the best at consolation but I hope I can find some ground to help him. When I walk in he's already drinking though he doesn't seem affected by it all that much, I still suspect he's had what should be way too much to drink for a normal person.

"It wasn't your fault." My voice rings in the empty bar and he turns his head slightly to acknowledge me.

"Did you read the reports?" His voice has dulled and is full of grief in every word.

"Yes."

"Then you know that's not true." He is quick to respond and I am as well, not willing to step aside and let him mope like this. Self-hatred of sorts and blaming himself for something he could not prevent.

"You did everything you could. Did you believe in your friend? Did you respect him?" He looks up at me from his chair and gives a small nod of conformation, to show me he did. Fully. "Then stop blaming yourself. Allow Barnes the dignity of his choice. He damn well must have thought you were worth it." My voice is strong as I tell him exactly what I think, that he has no reason to feel that kind of guilt.

"I'm goin' after Schmidt. I'm not gonna stop till all of Hydra is dead or captured." He seems to ease up at least a little on himself.

"You won't be alone." I promise, I myself and the rest of the Commando's will always be there for him. We are his team, and we have his back.


	14. The Crash

The next morning we are beginning to plan out how to finish off Hydra, specifically the Red Skull.

"Johann Schmidt belongs in a bug house. He thinks he is a god. He's willing to blow up half the world to prove it, starting with the U.S.A. " Phillips shakes his head in utter disdain and annoyance. Howard decides to offer up his own input next.

"Schmidt's working with powers beyond our capabilities. He gets across the Atlantic, he will wipe out the entire eastern sea board in an hour."

"How much time we got?" Jones pipes up.

"According to my new best friend, twenty four hours." Phillips tone is sarcastic at the words 'best friend' when referring to the Nazi doctor.

We pull out a map and the Colonel begins to speak again. "Hydra's last base is here. In the Alps. Five hundred feat below the surface." He doesn't look on board with the prospect of infiltrating.

"So what are we supposed to do, I mean it's not like we can just knock on the front door." Morita's voices his concern at the lack of tactical ways we could accomplish out mission.

"Why not?" The Captain speaks up from his chair next to mine, finally speaking for the first time during the meeting today. "That's exactly what we're gonna do."

Later that day we have already made it onto the base and I finally see Steve again. He's thrown his shield to keep the door from closing after we shot down the Nazi's that were following him.

"You're late." he gives me a soft smirk at being the one on time for once.

"Aren't you forgetting something? Don't you have somewhere to be?" I raise an eyebrow and smirk right back as I nod in the direction of his shield, reminding him that we have a mission to finish before we get lost in flirting.

"Oh, right." I  think I see disappointment flicker across his eyes and then he is off and running after the Red Skull.

The Colonel, Commandos and I take care of as many Hydra soldiers as we find and meet back up with Steve when we find the plane Schmidt's getting on and his fancy cars. Quickly we hop in and race after it down the runway, following the plane. As we near it I quickly stop the captain before he can make the leap, "Wait."

He turns to me and I pull him down so that I can finally kiss him, and I press my lips to his, trying to convey my feelings. "Go get him." my voice is low and steady.

He looks surprised and Phillips yells over the wind, "I'm not kissin' you." It's actually quite funny. Then he jumps onto the wheels and for a moment I worry that we are going to go over the edge of the mountain. The colonel  barely manages stop the car before going over the edge of the cliff, a still spinning wheel hangs off the edge. I watch until it's out of sight before we leave to get back to the base.

Not long after we are back on base I'm in the communications room and I hear Steve's voice clearly coming through the speakers. I all but push the man in the chair out of my way so I can take over. "Steve, is that you? Are you alright?"

"Peggy! Schmidt's dead." I sigh in relief, but that feeling is short lived.

"What about the plane?"

"That's a little bit tougher to explain." Worry begins to set in as I begin thinking quickly.

"Give me your coordinates, I'll find you a safe landing site." I order, already trying to pull up maps.

"There's not going to be a safe landing. But I can try and force it down." Panic begins to set in now, replacing the worry.

"I'll get Howard on the line, he'll know what to do." The panic is now mixing with utter desperation. I simply cannot lose him, not after we seem to be stopping our little dance around each others (romantic) feelings.

"There's not enough time. This thing's moving too fast and it's heading for New York. I gotta put her in the water." I hear the regret in his voice, and I feel the same regret. We could have been together for months now, if only we didn't play this little game, tip-toeing around each other and trying to stay professional.

"Please don't do this. We have time. We can work it out." I'm pleading with him, grasping for a chance that I'm not even sure exists anymore.

"Right now I'm in the middle of nowhere, if I wait any longer a lot of people are gonna die. Peggy, this is my choice." He turns my own words on me, using the same one's I told him about Barnes's choice.

"Peggy?" He asks when I'm silent for a moment, trying to hold myself together.

"I'm here." I hear my voice crack and mentally curse myself for not being stronger. 

"I'm gonna need a rain check on that dance." He turns the conversation, trying to keep it normal and light, finally asking me to go dancing with him. I can't even feel happy about the request, knowing that this is likely the end.

"Alright. A week, next Saturday at the Stork Club." I manage to tell him. It was one of my favorite clubs in New York that I'd frequented during school.

"You got it."

"8 O'clock on the dot and don't you dare be late!" I order through the beginnings of tears.

"You know, I still don't know how to dance." He admits and a small, fleeting smile graces my lips and I continue to beg him, to plead with him.f

"I'll show you, just be there."

"We'll have the band play something slow, I'd hate to step on your..." Suddenly the line goes dead to static and he is cut off.

"Steve? Steve? Steve?" I pause after each time I say his name to no response, in the back of my mind I know this means he is dead, that he's crashed the plane into the water. I just don't want to accept it. Everyone clears the room, and I silently thank Colonel Phillips for shooing them away, and I allow myself to finally cry, to let it all out and not hold back.

For the first time I think since after the experiment I think about my soulmark and with sudden realization I know what it is. The familiar decorated red white and blue shield with a star in the center, the one Steve carries. Steve, it's Steve. How did I not know? How did I not realize? It was my precious Captain all along. This makes me cry harder, my soulmate is Steve and he's just crashed into the ocean. Even more now I can't believe he's dead, I need to make sure he's okay. I need to find him, to bring him home to me.


	15. The SSR New York Office

Soon after that dreadfully bitter sweet day the war is officially over and I am re-stationed in New York City at an S.S.R. base there, and have yet to return to see my family. These numbskulls treat me as their inferior and think I have no purpose except for fetching coffee and doing reports. Truly it angers me.

As time goes on the only thing that keeps me going is my soulmark, it has not dulled in color nor faded. If Steve was truly dead then it would have lost all color and faded to be barely there which mine has not. It was as vibrant as ever, the red, white, and blue shield. I checked nearly every time I was near a mirror by myself just to be sure. Howard has been trying to help me find Steve ever since.

Soon enough it's been a full year since he crashed and still no sign of him. I'm beginning to feel despair, especially now that Howard has gotten himself into some trouble with the S.S.R. Some of his inventions were stolen and they believe he sold them to the highest bidder or something of the like. They've never liked Howard, and now they've been armed with a good excuse to go after him.

His butler Edwin Jarvis has been helping me in my endeavor to clear Stark's name. We've already recovered some tech though we had to call it in and pretend like we had nothing to do with the retrieval of the stolen property. 

...

A coded message has been received and I am just itching to take a look at it, I am a rather gifted code-breaker if I do say so myself. I weasel myself up next to the chief and Thompson and look over their shoulders. I end up nearly snorting from trying my hardest not to laugh, these men are so foolish some times it's really unbelievable.

"What?" Thompson's voice is annoyed as he looks up and crosses his arms at me, his face quite cross.

"Do you need any help." My voice still shaking from trying not to laugh.

"No, we're doing just fine Carter." He is clearly telling me to go away.

"No, you're not." I raise my eyebrows, "You've been trying to crack this code all morning. Yes?" He sighs which I take for confirmation.

"Carter, don't you have paperwork to do." Dooley narrows his eyes.

"I finished it early last night, I'm sure you lot will have more you wish to shove at me later."

"Then go." He waves me off.

"Are you sure you don't need help?" I pause at his annoyed look and push through a bit of anger at their dismissal of my skills. "Well, if you're sure you don't need help on something you've been working on all morning but only took me one glance to figure out suit yourselves." I shrug and turn on my heel, a smirk tugging at my lips when I finished rather haughtily. Mr. Jarvis is quite right, they do not value me or my skills. I might as well not even be here.

A hand roughly grabs my arm and tries to yank me back but is unsuccessful. I yank my arm out of their grip and turn with a glare, "Did you need something Thompson?" I look over my shoulder as I ask.

"You said you've already cracked it? How?" He is nearly glaring at me, clearly upset that a woman cracked it in one glance when they've all spent hours on it.

"Why yes of course, it's mostly in Russian. It's for coordinates and a drop location for something called Leviathan to pick up a Havoc Reactor in Bellerose." I cross my arms over my chest, feeling quite good about myself.

He and Dooley move into the office as the bustle resumes.

"I'm coming on this mission." I announce in a clear voice after they begin making plans without me. I am not willing to take no for an answer. Not that I really ever am.

"No, she's a woman. She'll only slow us down. I don't want to be playing babysitter on this mission." Thompson complains childishly and I roll my eyes.

"I'm the only one who can read the code." I point out with a raised eyebrow, they wouldn't last a day without me.

"I don't want to be liable for sending a woman into the field. The answer is no Carter." Dooley's face is set. An idea pops into my head, they don't trust my skills but they do trust a few soldiers I'm lucky enough to be acquainted with.

"What if I can deliver the 107th? Then will you allow me to go?" I put my hands on my hips with narrowed eyes.

Dooley snorted, not even trying to hold back his laugh, "Well then you could pack your bags Carter!"

I smirk at his ignorance, all I need to do now is contact them.

Once I am outside the office I hear them arguing over what the Chief just said. I shake my head and pick up the phone from my desk, dialing a very familiar number. It only rang a few times before I was connected once again to my old friends. A few minutes later everything's settled and I am confidently walking back into Chief Dooley's office.

"When do we leave?" My voice startles them out of their conversation as I abruptly re-enter the conversation from the doorway.

"What?"

"When do we leave?" I repeat, emphasizing the words as annoyance leaks into my voice.

"We? You still think you're coming Carter?" Thompson shakes his head. "Why yes, of course." I give a sickly sweet smile, "Chief Dooley did after all give me permission if I were to get the 107th for our mission, which I have." I cross my arms.

"No way."

"Yes, They will be meeting us there. So Thompson, you're leading this mission correct? When do  _we_  leave?" I put emphasis on we.

"Chief?" He turns for back up.

"I did give her my word." he sighs, "All right Carter, pack your bags." I smile triumphantly and Thompson rattles off a time to be ready by before I leave to collect my things. Working alongside my friends, colleagues who respect and value my opinion and input, will be a much welcome change, I do miss them quite a bit.


End file.
